Noreen van der Merwe, former Womxn Empowerment Committee HK for Minerva and a fiery force oozing passion, sat down with WOS for an insightful interview.
Q: What is the obstacle that you have faced that has taught you a lesson that you’ll never forget?
N: Bullying. I am highly opinionated and honest. My dad taught me to always fight for the underdog whoever it is and a lot of people were uncomfortable with this as it directly opposed the discriminatory views they held. As a result, I was bullied so bad I started seeing a psychologist.
Also, I have also found that men fear successful womxn. I struggled with this as I was under the impression that I would never find someone who would love me for me – a strong, passionate and fiery intersectional feminist. I was once told that I’m too much and that I threaten boys. Ironically, other womxn would feel threatened by me too and would ostracize me as a result. I used to try and fit in to the mould of what was said to be the ‘perfect girl’ but, thankfully, it did not work out. It was only once I started being myself that I found the love of my life. Someone who celebrates, encourages and challenges me in my entirety. He is not threatened by my opinions as he has his own. To this day, people still project their views of who I should be on to me but I’ve learnt to be strong and remain true to who I am. I’m not trying to change myself for other people, I’m just being who I want to be for myself and for my own sanity. No matter what society projects on to me, my strength will prevail. This is not to detract from the necessity of vulnerability. I’ve learnt that being strong doesn’t mean always being right and this is something Brandon (my boyfriend) has helped me learn. As I mentioned, he has his own opinions too and he is not going to shy away from intense discourse because of my boldness and strong opinions. He challenges me and allows me to be vulnerable. For example, at times I have to admit that I am wrong, which was hard for me initially, and it is in such moments where I feel vulnerable.
Q: What advice would you give to a womxn who feels suffocated by the
oppression they experience in Stellenbosch?
N: Always take care of yourself and your mental health. Have people in your life who support your passions, fight with you and remind you to fight the oppression around you. Also as a white heterosexual cis womxn, I have learnt that intersectionality is important as some individuals are more suffocated than others as there are other facets of Stellenbosch that are oppressing them. I deal with oppression in acknowledging my privilege and then to not blindly fight as if the oppression that I feel as a womxn is "one size fits all." You deal with it by getting likeminded individuals to fight with you, to create safe spaces, to attend discussions on campus, in your residence or pso or to join committees, movements, societies or groups. All the mechanisms will not only help you to find that support system but to also help you deal with it as well as have a safe space where you can critically evaluate how you are going to tackle the oppression. It helps to know that you’re not alone. Sometimes as a womxn it also feels like you HAVE to fight against oppression when it is suffocating you. For some womxn a release would be to call out the sexism on campus, go participate in the slut walk to liberate yourself or to constantly fight individuals in your circles when they are ill informed or oppressing you deliberately. For others, a release is to remove yourself and silently participate. Whichever way you choose, just always remember to have your support system.
Noreen, a 3rd year BAccLLB student, is now the treasurer of the newly founded Amnesty International Stellenbosch chapter. She has some exciting plans lined up for next year and she definitely should not be slept on.