I keep hearing how my sadness makes me ungrateful, because surely a young woman with two supportive parents and an army of friends behind her has the world at her feet? It's difficult to explain to people how the world that they see as being at my feet is actually weighing down on my shoulders and the parents they see as supporting my every move are hypocritical cheats and it takes a chunk out of me to look them in the eye on the daily. But still, it could be worse, right? Only, telling me how it could be doesn't make it hurt and less and two nights ago when I found myself with my finger down my throat and my head hanging over the white gunk of too many sleeping pills filling the toilet bowl I finally realized there's a certain kind of ache that comes along with living for someone else.
